What are Your Priorities?

Centering Yourself as a Leader

A quick personal note: I haven’t been writing as much as I hoped recently. I have no shortage of ideas, but having twins 6 weeks ago has proven that I need to re-learn how to do everything- from working to writing, and especially sleeping!

I’m aiming to ramp back up with a series of posts about Personal Leadership, as well as a few on Financial Transparency. I’ll be speaking at our industry’s big conference, CSM, in early February on our transparency practices at MovementX. I’m thrilled to be diving back in. And as always, thanks for your support and encouragement! It really does keep me going.

“What are your priorities?” A mentor of mine recently asked me abruptly, smack dab in the middle of a conversation.

“That’s a pretty broad question,” I replied.

“What are your priorities?” He doubled down.

“What domain are we talking here? In ALL of life?! I asked.

“What are your priorities?” He tripled down. “It’s critical you’re clear on them.”

Thankfully, I had recently been thinking a lot about how in the world I was going to handle my responsibilities as I became the father of two baby boys. One child felt overwhelming. Two was almost unimaginable.

Step 1: Get Clear

Before having kids, my work day started when I woke up and ended when I went to sleep. For the most part, weekdays vs weekends didn’t matter much either.

With two babies arriving fast on the scene, I knew things needed to change, and my old work styles weren’t going to hold, unless I wanted to be an absent father and a bad partner. No thanks!

Given the big change on the horizon, it was an opportunity for re-invention.

So, I wiped the slate clean. Out of my reflection, four clear priorities emerged.

Step 2: Make them Simple

“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about 4 P’s in my life.,” I finally shared after a drawn out pause…

• “I want to be a great parent.

• I want to be the best partner to my wife.

• I want to be a successful professional.

• I want to take care of myself personally, as I can’t do the others, without doing this too.”

“In that order?” My mentor asked.

“Yes, that’s in order of priority, too,” I said. “Is that what you were looking for?”

“Exactly. Those are great.”

Phew! Thankful to be past our intense exchange, the conversation went on, and I’ve continued to think about these 4 P’s ever since.

More than simply saying them, I knew it would take hard work to live by the priorities I was preaching. Connecting values to action is where authenticity flourishes; it’s the person I want to be.

Step 3: Revisit them. Constantly.

I imagine my four priorities to be a 2x2 square, a wooden board if you will, with a marble in the middle. At any given point in the day, that marble is going to roll squarely into one quadrant. And I want to be excellent in that quadrant. Fully focused on that sole quadrant at that time.

Embarking on a new phase of life, I’ll also have to keep that marble balanced in the middle of that board while keeping in mind what comes first.

All day, every day, this checklist is constantly running through my head from top to bottom. Are my children taken care of? Is my wife doing well? Is there anything at work that needs my immediate attention? And finally, how am I doing?

Within each quadrant, there’s also a few ideals I am aiming for, and I ask myself reflective questions in each, such as the below, when I can carve out the space.

Parent

• Was I present for my children today? Did I give them my full time and attention when with them?

• Did they feel love, support, and stability? Kids’ job is to be kids, and I need to stay centered and grounded for them. The adult in the room.

• Did I appreciate the little moments, especially those from this phase that will be gone so soon?

Partner

• Did I love my wife well today? Did she feel it, does she know it, and did I tell her?

• Did I support her well enough that she can take care of her priorities and herself?

• Was I the partner she deserves? One that listens well, gathers feedback, and gets better for her every day?

Professional

• Did I prioritize my time effectively today?

• Was I good at my job? And did I bring good to the organization and the world?

• How did people feel in my wake?

Personal

• Did I take care of my priorities? Sleep, nutrition, water, exercise, and mindfulness.

• Did I treat myself with love and self-compassion?

• Did I attack the day with enthusiasm, optimism, and gratitude?

I’m still early in this new phase, but I’ve found great benefit, focus, and dare I say have had less stress with this structure.

In many ways, it’s a lot more challenging than the non-stop work, hustle culture that start ups glorify. You read that right - I think it would actually be easier in many capacities - to be solely focused on work.

Yet, sticking to a clear set of balanced priorities is also the more sustainable and fulfilling option; a better recipe for a life well lived.

When you know yourself, and you can take care of your priorities, the door opens up to taking care of others.

And the beautiful part is that when your team sees centered, grounded, leadership (whether you’re in a leadership role or not), it is more likely to become the culture of the organization.